So, you’re newly engaged and looking for a starting point, some inspiration, and some help!

We hear you.

Maybe you’ve started looking and aren’t getting anywhere or are completely uninspired by everything out there, your non-traditional wedding vibe doesn’t fit, and the inspiration just doesn’t feel like… well…you!

After my wedding and particularly now, I feel like I ended up having to follow the traditional wedding planning formula, because naively, I thought that's what you had to do.

Wrong.

Maybe it was because in 2010 I had no access to things to change my mind on ‘the traditional way’. I did the research, inspiration and wedding planning myself and it was way before the likes of platforms like The Un-Wedding, so it almost felt like I had to fight for what I felt was right for me and our wedding day. Looking back, I can see that I was trying desperately to still be 'me' with a non-traditional wedding day, but also still stay within the parameters that had already been set out by tradition! And of course, you listen to older relatives like your parents or what your grandma would expect in addition to your own learned behaviour from every wedding you've ever been to since you were born!

Don't get me wrong, my wedding was amazing! I really loved the day. It felt like it had a magic about it because we had a winter wedding that didn't start until 4pm so it was dark which was just what I wanted.

We picked St Etheldreda’s Church in Farringdon on account of it being the oldest Catholic church in the UK and I come from a big Irish Catholic family. Getting married in a Catholic church was something that I never dreamed of going against, it was like an unspoken rule.

The 15th-century crypt beneath the church took my breath away when I saw it in all its candle-lit glory! Henry VIII once attended an opulent feast there that lasted for 5 days! I always felt like the magic feeling was down to a combination of the setting, the history, and all the love in the room! I could still feel it for a long time afterward.

I wore the Eden dress by Jenny Packham, and it looked incredible against the Gothic backdrop of the church. I didn't know much about bridal designers at the time, but I'd come across an advert for JP in a wedding magazine when my sister was getting married and knew that she was the one for me. I loved how contemporary her designs were in comparison to all the flouncy gowns that I'd been used to seeing other brides wear. I really struggled with what to dress everyone else in! Literally, none of our friends are suits and fancy frock kinda people and I wanted them all to have a nice time and not feel like they were in costume. I remember finding it challenging to source anything for a non-traditional wedding at the time. We ended up going plain and understated and I remember feeling like a bit of a fraud for getting my bridesmaid dresses from ASOS.

There were a few traditions we left out or replaced with something more fitting to us. We didn't have any flowers and instead, my bridesmaids each carried a candle. This obviously saved us a lot of money whilst still complimenting the vibe, so it didn't feel too outrageous. It did raise a few eyebrows though because flowers are something that people expect to see at a wedding, right?

Although I loved my wedding day, if I could change it all (apart from Ben... and maybe my dress) I would! I wouldn't get married in a church. I'd find the courage to discuss it with my family. I like the idea of having more flexibility with the venue and a really personal ceremony with a humanist celebrant. I wouldn't feel confined to sourcing things solely from the wedding world although these days I know I could plan a non-traditional wedding with ease by using the Book Of Love directory! But there's no shame in getting your bridesmaid’s dresses from ASOS or even wearing their own if they want to!

I definitely would not spend the night before the wedding away from Ben! But I would still let my dad walk me up the aisle and I would still change my surname! I talk a bit more about these things in my exciting new guide…

As you probably have guessed by now, it’s all about breaking traditions but only if you want to, and if not, choosing the traditions you want to keep… it’s about the two of you… your day, your way! The Un-Wedding ‘A Guide For Modern Couples’ is a starting point for newly engaged couples who don't know where to start but know they want a non-traditional wedding. An un-wedding.

It draws on my own experiences as a non-traditional bride who ended up having a pretty traditional wedding because I didn't know any better. I was following an outdated formula and trying to live up to expectations which is not the best way to plan your day!

It's full of advice, inspiration, and useful things for planning your non-traditional wedding day. You can work through it together on the sofa whilst having a brew or a glass of wine! There are over 80 pages of all the things I wish I'd known when I was a bride-to-be covering everything from budget planning, deciding which traditions to ditch, and looking after your mental health! It's also packed full of tips from current couples-to-be who I talk to in my Facebook group as well as tips from the modern wedding industry experts in my Book Of Love directory!

I want to help as many couples as possible to cut to the chase when it comes to planning the non-traditional wedding of their dreams! The Un-Wedding ‘A Guide For Modern Couples’ is available to buy now for only £14.99! It’s an 80-page online workbook of everything you need to know to get cracking with planning your modern wedding including:

💋 How to set your budget including a printable budget planner
💋 Where to go for inspiration
💋 Where to find the right suppliers for you
💋 What questions to ask your suppliers
💋 How to write your guest list
💋 Deciding which traditions to ditch
💋 Ways to personalise your day and make it unique to you
💋 The importance of looking after your self-care and mental health during wedding planning.