Images by Rebecca Carpenter Photography

Advice from professional wedding planner, Valentina @ The Stars Inside

In some ways, the wedding industry can seem contradictory – with the ‘W’ word used for everything from two people barefoot in the wilderness to four hundred people twirling in a man-made wonderland of flowers, light, and gilded glassware. For many couples, where their own wedding identity falls on that scale is determined by family – for some, by their own dreams and desires – but for others, the process of unlocking what they truly want their day can be difficult. For so many decades it seemed that there really wasn’t much of a choice, but we’re living through an immense shift in this industry, and in the perception of how marriages can be honoured.

The wonderful truth of it is that your wedding can be anything you want it to be, and it can reflect your own priorities and values in whichever way is right for you.

Today’s article is about elopements and micro weddings, and why so many couples are choosing this path of celebrating their wedding just the two of them, or with very small groups of their nearest and dearest. I hope it can be helpful to any couples out there who are considering it, and perhaps have been asking themselves whether it’s the right path for them. Maybe one reason resonates with you, or maybe, in some way, they all do – and I hope reading this can bring even more positivity, joy, and intention to this wonderful adventure of yours.

1: You Want to Experience Your Wedding Day Fully

This is a really key reason why so many couples are choosing to elope or have a smaller celebration. At a time when togetherness is so precious, and when we all feel like we’ve been watching life go by outside the window, brides and grooms want to take control. They want to spend all day doing their favourite things, in their favourite place, with their favourite people - rather than risking blurring the day into a whirlwind of things they felt pressured to do, or possibly not even getting the chance to spend more than five minutes with a dear friend who flew over from across the world to be there. Choosing to have a smaller celebration means focusing more on the quality of time spent together, and truly feeling present in every moment of the day. You’ll have time to take in the sights, sounds, and scents of the details you’ve lovingly chosen. You can immerse yourself in the atmosphere, and build a (relaxed) timeline of the day that revolves around your story – in whichever way is most meaningful to you. You’ll have the luxury of slowing down, breathing it all in, and genuinely engaging in heartfelt conversations and memory-making with the person (or people) there with you.

2: Intimacy Feels Right For You

One of the elements of large weddings that can cause a lot of anxiety or pressure for couples is the idea of entertaining and hosting such a wide group of people – all the while being at the very centre of attention, all day. For those couples whose personalities are more introverted, or whose story has been more independent, it can be a huge relief to know that your vows will be heard only by your closest loved ones and that you won’t feel the need to justify your wedding choices to a large group of (opinionated) people. It may also be that you find yourselves in a complicated family or friend dynamic that isn’t as welcoming to your partner as you would like it to be. In many ways, eloping means taking control over the day: making it feel like it belongs to you, that it’s FOR you and by you.

3: You Want to Keep Things Simple.

Many couples love the idea of declaring their love to one another through marriage – but don’t feel excited at the notion of planning a complicated, elaborate gathering of people. Just because some people grow up dreaming of planning their wedding, and you don’t feel that way, doesn’t mean there is anything less special about your celebration or that you should feel any guilt or shame.

Maybe it doesn’t fit your lifestyle right now, or your personality, and that’s absolutely fine. So many couples these days grow up with multicultural circles of friends and families spread across continents, and the logistics of getting everyone in one place can feel overwhelming. There could be a personal or professional reason to keep the planning timeline shorter - or perhaps you have a family or community much too large to realistically invite everyone whose feelings wouldn’t be hurt by not being invited. There are also those who want their celebration to be as eco-friendly and sustainable as possible. Whatever the reason, you have every right to want your wedding planning to be easy, carefree, and light: and for many couples, their definition of that is to say their vows in front of their best friends and closest family, and then host a laid-back, relaxed dinner. Or perhaps you want it to just be the two of you, in your favourite city or a quiet spot by the beach, without any fuss or frills at all. That’s just as valid, and a wonderful reason to choose to elope.

4: You Want to be Mindful with Your Budget

Budgets are another key reason why many couples choose to have a smaller wedding or elope just the two of them. By reducing the guest list, you can reduce the overall expense – while at the same time increasing the budget per person. Pretty cool, right? It means you can still indulge in the things you love, work with amazing vendors, honour your priorities, AND treat yourselves and your guests to a really personal, luxurious experience, without overextending yourself beyond the figure you’re comfortable spending. Having a larger guest list often means that you find yourself spending a considerable chunk of money on things that don’t actually matter that much to you – and you have less control and breathing room for splurging on those things you actually love and cherish. Many couples, particularly after 2020, are reassessing their priorities in terms of starting families, buying houses, starting businesses, and much more – and being intentional with the money invested in their wedding day is more important to them than ever.

5: Your Definition of Luxury is Adventure

An elopement or a micro wedding doesn’t have to be adventurous – but it CAN be, much more easily than a large wedding can. A small celebration is nimble, easy to host anywhere in the world, and considerably more flexible. If you love the idea of exploring somewhere remote together, having breathtaking views of mountains or waterfalls behind you as you say your vows, or visiting that one bucket list location you’ve been dreaming of – your elopement is the time to do it. If you have a strong connection to travel, nature, and discovery, combining those passions with all the wonderful emotions of your wedding day can be really unforgettable. And adventure can come in many different forms: it’s not just about hiking up mountains! To you, adventure might mean creating your own traditions, or setting aside the rules and preconceptions that this industry has carried for so long. You should do YOU – and your wedding should be a reflection of all the gloriously perfect imperfections of your lives and loves.

If none of these reasons resonate with you – and you want to have a large wedding, that is absolutely wonderful. Or perhaps they do resonate with you, and you will be able to honour them in your own way, regardless of the size of your guest list. Or, maybe, in a few months’ time, you’ll be spontaneously booking a plane ticket and saying your vows to one another with only the sea and stars as witnesses. Whoever you are, and wherever you are, your story is worthy of the celebration!

Planning & Styling: The Stars Inside @thestarsinside

Photographer: Rebecca Carpenter Photography @rebeccacarpenterphotography

Hair: Storme Make-up and Hair @stormemakeupartist

Models (+ MUA): India @indiarosefin & Vally @vallyvand