How to Combat Negative Opinions When You're Planning Your Wedding

Written by Juliet Dujmovic

When you start planning your wedding, you’ll find that suddenly everyone has an opinion about how you

should go about it.



Most of the time people around you are only trying to be helpful, but there are times

when these opinions can be negative and not what you need whilst trying to focus on your wedding.



I’ve been there!



I’ve put together some tips on how you can respond and deal with any negative comments that come your way.



1. Remind yourself it’s less personal than it feels.​



Usually, when people share their opinions, it’s less to do with what’s wrong with what you’re doing,

and more to do with what they would choose. In our own head, we generally believe our own way

is better. Everyone is similar in this respect! But some people are comfortable in having and sharing

their opinions even if it comes across as negative to others. This says more about their character

than what you’re doing. Knowing that someone’s opinion is more to do with them than yourself can

help to not take a negative opinion as a personal attack.



2. Laugh about it.



Making a joke about something used to annoy me as if it wasn’t being taken seriously, but actually,

humour is a really useful tool in some circumstances. When someone gives you unwanted or

negative opinions during your wedding planning, you can respond with sarcasm, laughing it off,

exaggeration and completely running with their opinion dramatically, agreeing with them

light-heartedly…any form of humour can make it easier for you to respond and react, and also

potentially make it hard for the one with the opinion to snap back again! Double win.​



3. Ask them to stop.​



This is a pretty straight-forward one but some people need it served up straight. Others aren’t even

aware that what they’re saying is hurting you and wouldn’t say it if they were. Politely asking

someone to stop sharing their opinions on your wedding, and expressing that their negative energy

is dampening the experience for you, could be a direct and mature way of addressing the issue.

Simply let them know you’d appreciate it if they could be nicer with their comments. You could also

use some humour here to keep it light. ​



4. Agree to disagree.



People like to be heard when they talk, and opinion-sharers will enjoy having their opinions

acknowledged and not ignored (that is another way to respond but could backfire). Letting them

know that you’ve considered their thoughts but will have to agree to disagree can be a way of

respecting their opinion and moving on quick smart. ​



5.Have a venting space.​



Whether it’s a friend, a punching bag, or a therapist, find a space to vent during your wedding

planning period. Unfortunately, you probably won’t be able to get rid of all the negative opinions,

but letting your frustrations build up won’t be healthy or useful for you. Actively find a space where

you can let some steam off during this period.



Juliet Dujmovic, author of ‘What They Don't Tell You About Planning Your Own Wedding’

wedding planningMelissa Woodsadvice